My mother is visiting with me this week. She is staying at my house instead of my going down to her home. It feels very much like an audition for her living with me full time. And I'm not ready for that. But I had better start getting ready because it seems that her living here is more and more likely. We've taken some steps to increase the safety level in my house - and "steps" is the appropriate word since my house is a tri-level with two sets of steps that she would have to negotiate day-to-day. We've installed safety handles on walls on each end of the stair railing so that she can hold them to help herself. We've installed safety arms on the toilets in two bathrooms. But we can't do much about the arthritis in her knees that make the stairs painful.The visit has truly been an emotional roller coaster. There have been some really good times - watching her doing some Swedish Weaving and enjoying herself. And there have been some bad times - she almost fell tonight (off the stairs) and banged her head hard against the wall. There have been some low times - her asking me this morning where she was and when did she get here, the third morning of her stay. And there have been some high times - having discussions with her about things that she wouldn't have been able to remember a month ago.
I'm not ready for this life change. I'm not ready to try to be a full-time caretaker and still hold down a full-time job. I'm not ready to be a mother to my mother. But time won't wait for me to get ready. So I'll just do the best I can.
Joy Journal: Hearing my mother tell a doctor (when she didn't know I could hear) that "My daughter is an artist, she makes the most beautiful artwork. She can do anything artistic"
